The Psychology of Connection: Why Some Brands Tattoo Themselves Onto Our Hearts (and Others Barely Leave a Ripple)

There’s something profoundly human about wanting to belong. We all want this, well most of us, I had a friend in High School named Rob, who I swore was a true loner and as it turns out, he became a forest ranger deep in Alaska, but that's a different story for another day. Hi Rob if you are reading this.

Before we ever cared about logos or color palettes or clever slogans, we were wired biologically, evolutionarily, for connection. We roamed in tribes, we sat around fires and told stories, we fought for flags, we passed stories because they helped us remember who we were.

And now, in the modern marketplace, that wiring still rules us—only instead of war paint and animal pelts, we wear Nike swooshes and tattoo championship logos on our skin. Same primal need, just wearing a different uniform. If you're a small business branding agency trying to stand out, understanding this primal wiring is step one—because without emotional resonance, even the best designs fall flat.

I’ve always been fascinated by sports and how people’s entire identities can be wrapped up in their favorite sports team.  Have you ever noticed in a sports match when the cameras pan to the fans during an important part of the match, there are literally fans who won’t watch the PK, the extra point, some are crying, some are rejoicing, as if their entire existence hinged on that single moment. 

This has always fascinated me so I started to dive into WHY? Why do some brands become family, ritual, religion, tattoo-worthy identity, and others vanish like a pop-up ad you forgot two seconds later?

The answer, my friend, lives at the intersection of neuroscience, narrative, and that squishy thing we call the human heart.

So let’s dig in to what I found.

It's Not About the Logo, it’s About the Identity.

You don’t get someone to tattoo your logo on their calf because you have a clever font. Real connection is when someone sees themselves in what you’ve built and are literally willing to die for it… or tattoo on their calf as the case may be.

“Neurons that fire together, wire together.”

As neurologist Donald Hebb famously said, “Neurons that fire together, wire together.” Meaning: when people have repeated, emotional experiences with your brand—experiences that feel rewarding, validating, exciting—their brains literally wire that connection as a part of their identity. This is exactly what we lean into in Brand Strategy Consulting: helping people create emotionally sticky, story-driven moments that etch into memory.

It’s called self-congruity theory, and it suggests that we are drawn to brands that reinforce our ideal version of ourselves.

You don’t wear Patagonia just because it’s warm. You wear it because it says “I care about the planet.” You don’t go to SoulCycle just to burn calories. You go to feel like someone who doesn’t quit when the music drops and the incline rises. You don’t cheer for the Patriots because they have cool helmets or play in sub zero temperature sometimes, you play because something about their coach, their star QB, the community of the team drew you in and made you feel like you belonged.

You buy meaning, you wear tribe, you join identity.

The Brain Chemistry of Belonging

Let’s take it deeper…there’s a neurochemical cocktail that connection activates in our bodies.

When we feel seen, affirmed, inspired, dopamine and oxytocin fire. These are the same “bonding chemicals” released during physical touch, during intimacy, even during childbirth. It’s why we return to the brands that make us feel a certain way, they’re literally addictive.

Emotionally connected customers are more than twice as valuable as highly satisfied ones.

Harvard Business Review reports that emotionally connected customers are more than twice as valuable as highly satisfied ones. They buy more, stay longer, refer more often, and pay more premium prices, all because they feel something that aligns with who they want to be.

The most powerful branding isn’t informative, it’s emotional. If your brand isn’t evoking something visceral, it’s probably, well, forgettable.

Storytelling as a Shortcut to the Heart

One of the most impactful ways to elicit this neurochemical cocktail is telling stories.  Storytelling doesn’t just entertain, it literally hacks the human brain. When you tell a story, the listener’s brain lights up (if it’s done effectively) as if they were experiencing it themselves. It’s called neural coupling, and it means your story literally becomes their memory.

The most powerful branding isn’t informative, it’s emotional. If your brand isn’t evoking something visceral, it’s probably, well, forgettable.

But not just any story will do. The brands that stick, the ones that tattoo themselves in our minds, don’t tell their story, they tell ours. They mirror back our struggle, our values, our dream ending. That’s how people don’t just buy your service, they buy into your movement.

“We don’t buy what people make. We buy the story they help us tell ourselves about who we are.”

As branding expert Bernadette Jiwa writes, “We don’t buy what people make. We buy the story they help us tell ourselves about who we are.”

Why the Tattoo?

Still with me? Let’s return to the image that sparked this whole exploration, someone proudly inking their flesh with a sports mascot or a brand logo.  It’s not about the team, it’s about what that team represents to them.

It’s about the father who took his son to every game growing up (not mine, but you get the point). The community who cheered with them when they had no one else. The fight song that carried them through breakups and layoffs and late nights. The sense that this, this team, this tribe, this brand, gets them, reflects them, belongs to them.

And if you’re smart, as a brand builder, that’s where you shoot—not to be loved by everyone, but to be essential to someone. This is what a certified brand strategist is trained to build: brands that are not just visible, but vital.

Your brand is how you show up on a Tuesday.

Three Branding Truths Worth Tattooing Into Your Strategy

1. Connection is a biology game. If your brand doesn’t elicit emotion, it won’t stick. Make people feel seen, feel understood, feel something, and they’ll keep coming back.

2. The story isn’t about you. Your origin is cute, your features are fine, but the real gold is in becoming a mirror for your audience’s aspirations, let them be the hero.

3. Your brand is every damn thing. It’s not your logo, it’s how you answer the phone. It’s your onboarding email. Your body language. Your late-night DM response. Your vibe in the room...as I say in my keynote: your brand is how you show up on a Tuesday.

So... Will Anyone Tattoo You?

“This. This person, this brand, they see me, they get me, I belong here.”

Not literally, of course, (although that would be flattering or maybe weird.) But emotionally, psychologically, in a way that rewires their brain and says, “This. This person, this brand, they see me, they get me, I belong here.”

If the answer isn’t yes yet, that's an opportunity to fill a void. Because connection is something you can build with intention, with heart or soul, with storytelling.

Want to Build a Brand That Actually Connects?

You don’t need a new tagline or an update to your logo. You need to get radically clear on who you are and how you’re showing up, and if that feels like a black hole, I got your back boo!

Join me for the next You Are The Brand: Blueprint workshop. It’s part gut-check, part roadmap, all real talk.

We’ll unpack your identity, refine your message, and build a brand rooted in [your] truth, not someone else’s trend. Because you don’t need to be famous, you just need to be unforgettable to the right people.

Let’s make that happen.

→ Reserve Your Spot Now

About Deevo

Deevo is a former corporate dropout turned world-traveling creative, master brand strategist, and unapologetic truth-teller who helps founders, visionaries, and entrepreneurs build brands rooted in who they actually are not who the market told them to be.

He’s the founder of The Brand Storyteller platform and host of The Branding Laboratory podcast, where identity meets impact and storytelling meets strategy. Equal parts photographer, philosopher, coach, and chaos alchemist, Deevo has spent the last two decades helping people see themselves more clearly and then build lives and businesses that reflect that truth.

Whether he’s behind the camera, behind a mic, or in the middle of a coaching session pulling someone’s soul out from under the weight of “shoulds,” Deevo’s gift is helping people remember who they were before the world told them otherwise and then turning that into a business that slaps.

He’s built multi-six figure brands, mentored hundreds of creatives, worked with CEOs, artists, and solopreneurs alike, and he still believes the most powerful brand is the one that feels like home.

If you're ready to get off the hamster wheel of comparison and actually embody your brand in a way that feels real, resonant, and a little rebellious, Deevo's your guy.